Embracing the Journey: Preparing Your Toddler for a New Sibling

Your family is growing, and that’s so exciting! Maybe you’ve already shared the news on social media that your child is about to become a “Big Brother” or “Big Sister.” But along with the joy, you might also be feeling a bit overwhelmed, wondering: “How do I prepare for baby number two? How can I help my toddler adjust to this big change? How should I introduce the new baby to them?” Trust me, these feelings are completely normal as you make this transition. I want you to know: You absolutely have what it takes to navigate your growing family!

And remember, you’re not alone in this. Whether your worries are about your toddler or your newborn, it’s perfectly okay to feel unsure. I’m here to help! I offer classes that focus on those early days with your newborn, as well as support for your older kids, whether they’re 5-24 months or 2-4 years old. My goal is to equip you with the confidence and tools you need to embrace this beautiful new chapter with all your little ones.

Can toddlers sense pregnancy?
While there’s no scientific proof that toddlers can sense pregnancy, we know they’re incredibly perceptive and often reflect our emotions. If your toddler seems clingier or behaves differently since you found out you’re expecting (even if they don’t fully understand), they might be picking up on shifts in your energy or mood. It’s also possible they’re just going through their own developmental changes. If you’re noticing behavioral shifts and don’t feel ready to tell them about becoming a big sibling, that’s completely okay. I’ve got some tips to help prepare your toddler for this new adventure.

If you’re anxious about juggling bedtime with a toddler and a newborn, or if your toddler’s sleep is a concern, I’m here for you! Just choose your child's age to get started:

Newborn (0–4 months)
Baby (5–24 months)
Toddler (2–4 years)

When should I tell my toddler about the new baby?
How and when to tell your toddler about the new sibling is entirely up to you. There’s no right or wrong way—just do what feels best for your family. Here are some thoughts to keep in mind:

Consider your child’s age and maturity. A 3-4 year old might understand better than a younger toddler.
You might choose to wait until you’re showing; your growing belly can help explain the changes happening.
If you’re feeling unwell early in your pregnancy, it might be a good idea to explain what’s going on sooner, without placing blame on the baby.

How do I tell my child about a new sibling?
There’s no perfect formula for sharing the news that a new baby is on the way. Think about your child’s experiences with babies. If they’re around babies often, it might be as simple as saying, “We’re having a new baby just like your friend.” If they’re the youngest, using a baby doll or referencing a favorite show with a baby can spark the conversation.

Make sure to express how special it is to be an older sibling. Use phrases like “our baby” instead of “my baby” to create a sense of connection.

It’s normal for children to react with a range of emotions—happiness, confusion, tears, or even anger. For older toddlers, these feelings can be intense. If your child is under 3, it’s okay if their reaction is minimal; they may not fully grasp what’s happening.

If you’re planning a big announcement or celebration, try to involve your toddler as much as possible!

What is the ideal age gap between siblings?
Honestly, I’ve had children with age gaps ranging from 12 months to nearly 4 years, and I can tell you: the ideal age gap is the one you have! Life doesn’t always go as planned, and while we might envision a perfect timing, it often isn’t within our control.

Here are some practical tips based on the age gap you’ll be experiencing:

Under 2 years apart:

Start with a great sleeper! If your toddler struggles with sleep, make it a priority now.
Keep your older one in the crib for as long as it’s safe; premature transitions can lead to sleep issues.
Be aware that your little ones might end up on opposite schedules, which is totally normal.
Remember, it might feel tough initially, but things will get easier!

2 or 3 years apart:

Again, focus on sleep. If sleep is a challenge, address that first.
If it’s safe, consider keeping your older child in the crib.
Don’t feel pressured to potty train just because a new baby is coming; wait for signs of readiness.
If you’re weaning off the pacifier, try to do it at least 3 months before or after the baby’s arrival to avoid connecting it to the new sibling.
Teach your child about baby safety—no blankets or toys in the baby’s crib!

4 years or more apart:

Focus on sleep, just like before.
Involve your older child in getting ready for their new sibling. They could help decorate the nursery or choose an outfit for the baby.
Look for local sibling classes, and let your child watch parts of a newborn class with you.
Reinforce baby safety rules, like keeping toys out of the baby’s crib.

How can I prepare my child for a new baby?
One of the best things you can do is involve your older child in preparations. Ask for their opinions on nursery decor, baby names, and special toys. Making them a part of this process can help ease the transition.

Try to avoid major changes in the 3 months before or after the baby arrives. Becoming an older sibling is a significant shift, so minimizing other changes will help. Keeping routines consistent is key, as toddlers thrive on stability.

Reading age-appropriate books about new siblings can also help them feel more prepared.

How do I introduce a new baby to my older child?
Prepare your older child for the introduction by explaining what to expect. Describe babies simply: “Our baby will be tiny,” “They might be sleepy,” or “It’s okay if they cry.”

Guide them on how to interact gently with their new sibling. Encourage gentle touches on the baby’s feet rather than their face. If they’re interested in holding the baby, talk about washing hands and demonstrate safe holding techniques.

Some families like to have a little gift exchange—perhaps the older child gives the baby a handmade card, and the baby gives a gift to their older sibling.

Follow your child’s lead during this introduction and don’t worry if their reaction isn’t what you envisioned.

How to handle jealousy between siblings?
It’s completely normal for toddlers to experience jealousy and big emotions after a new baby arrives. They might think, “If I act like a baby, I’ll get more attention!” To help mitigate jealousy, focus on all the fun things they can do that babies can’t—like playing at the park, enjoying ice cream, or watching their favorite cartoons.

Aim to carve out at least 10-15 minutes of one-on-one time with your older child each day, free from distractions. This special time can help them feel connected and loved, reducing feelings of jealousy.

If you notice any aggressive behavior toward the new baby, set firm boundaries.

Will my older child experience a sleep regression?
It’s possible! Sleep challenges can be common when a new baby arrives, especially since toddlers undergo a lot of development during this time. If you need extra support, my Toddler Sleep Training class is here for you.

How do you handle bedtime with two kids?
Establishing a bedtime routine with both a toddler and a newborn can be tricky, but it’s so important. Creating a familiar routine for your toddler before the baby arrives can provide the stability they crave during this big change.

After the baby comes, be patient as you figure out what works best for your family. I found babywearing really helpful for keeping my newborn calm while getting my toddler ready for bed.

How to manage daily schedules with a toddler and a baby?
Good news: newborns actually do best with flexible routines! Aim for 1-2 naps in the crib or bassinet, but don’t hesitate to incorporate on-the-go naps when needed. This flexibility allows you to create healthy sleep habits while adapting to both children’s needs.

How do I handle school pickups with a new baby?
For more tips on this, check out my blog on Baby Naps and School Pickup.

How do you survive with a newborn and a toddler?
First, hear me when I say: You’ve got this!

Here are a few tips to help you through the newborn stage with a toddler:

Set realistic expectations. Understand that there will be an adjustment period for everyone. Those first few weeks might feel a bit chaotic, but remind yourself it’s just a season—be kind to yourself during this time.
Don’t let guilt overshadow joy. You might feel like you can’t give as much attention to your second baby as you did to your first, but this is just a different experience. Remind yourself that all siblings go through this, and they grow up feeling loved.
Get outside. It may be more challenging, but fresh air can make a big difference. Keeping up with normal activities like park playdates can help ease the transition for your older child.
Create a toy bin for your toddler. Set aside some fun toys that are only for times when your newborn needs your full attention. This keeps things exciting for your toddler and gives you a breather.